Renfield: are you sure your connection will permit us to MST? RackhamRose: oh, it had better Renfield: all righty. what d'you feel like? RackhamRose: hmmmmm Renfield: *kinda thinking Trigun* RackhamRose: I'm leaning towards Trigun or Slayers Renfield: Trigun it izz Renfield: hm! Seraph appears to have been taken down. . . . RackhamRose: o rly? :/ Renfield: no can find. let's see if Sweet Intoxication is still around Renfield: bingo! the tenth chapter is called Facing Vash RackhamRose: ("This fic ain't big enough fer the two of us...") Renfield: should be Facing Vash With a Straight Face RackhamRose: or, Facing Vash After Eating The Last Donut Renfield: ("Facing Vash With a Hardon". . .) Renfield: (do i have the Free-Floating Hornies tonight? why yes, i do!) :D RackhamRose: XD
Knives stood staring into Meryl's eyes, beginning to imagine a life with her. He gently kissed her lips and felt himself drift up to cloud nine.
Renfield: that's how you know he's on those mind-altering drugs Renfield: i mean, doesn't Thorazine do that? RackhamRose: and sometimes morphine. RackhamRose: --then his spirit guide showed up, too late to warn him that Meryl had laced her lip gloss with LSD.
Meryl's heart and soul leaped in unison with joy with Knives', but she couldn't help but feel one last pang of sorrow about losing Vash.
Renfield: She resolved to use a much sturdier leash on his brother. RackhamRose: I guess I'll just have to beat this one more, she mused. Renfield: Wait! Maybe he's just beneath the couch cushions again! she remembered. RackhamRose: remember, Meryl, whenever you lose something, you always find it in the last place you look
Vash, I'm sorry for this, but I must move on. I know you meant well by sending your brother with me and staying with Nick, but I never thought it would end this way. Baby, I'm sorry...
Renfield: I honestly thought we'd wind up in a threesome! ;__; RackhamRose: ...if I'd known, I would have eaten all of your donuts and peed in your milk, you bastard! Renfield: XD
"Is something wrong?" asked Knives, slightly pulling his lips apart from Meryl's, resting his forehead against hers.
Renfield: "It's nothing. . . . Just, um . . would you mind hacking off your left arm and replacing it
with a prosthetic?" (:D Renfield: ("Yes, just like in that movie, Edward Vibratorhands!") :D RackhamRose: XD RackhamRose: "Um," she said, and blushed. "I hate to tell you this, but... have you ever looked into
treating your halitosis?" RackhamRose: ("No, actually; I was just thinking about how much money I could save by switching my
car insurance...")
"No," she replied. "Should we go inside and tell everyone?"
Renfield: "What!? Why not just invite them to come watch?" Meryl snapped, before considering her proposal. RackhamRose: "Wait, everyone who? Are we on Candid Camera again?!"
"Yes, we should." Meryl grabbed Knives' hand and they walked back to the lobby of the hotel hand in hand. They decided against taking the elevator when they saw the
Renfield: --large fire evenly filling the ground floor. RackhamRose: --wave of blood pouring into the hallway. RackhamRose: --impromptu "Multi-Floor Action 7" porno shoot going on inside. Renfield: --the Sailor Scouts running around looking urgent. RackhamRose: XD RackhamRose: --the imposing pit of jello and punji-sticks.
large crowd gathered around, pushing and shoving each other as they waited for the lift, and decided to take the stairs instead.
RackhamRose: yeah, the acoustics are better in stairways, too... ^_~ Renfield: so are the art exhibits. and pranks Renfield: and grafitti, etc. RackhamRose: and, in my area subway, the pervasive smell of urine. :P Renfield: now that's erotic
They climbed three flights of stairs until they reached the floor that their room was on
Renfield: their room was on floor 2 1/2 RackhamRose: I was gonna say the eighth floor Renfield: why eighth? RackhamRose: for the surreality of it. Renfield: ahhh Renfield: but, if they climbed "three flights of stairs" an even number of times, they'd actually
come out on a real floor, instead of a half-floor RackhamRose: unless they were in a Terry Gilliam movie or summat. ;)
and dashed down the hallway, racing each other to the door. Meryl was in the lead until Knives decided not to go easy on her and flew by her, reaching the door seconds before she did. "Not fair!" yelled Meryl. "You cheated!"
Renfield: "Of course I cheated! I'm a villain, aren't I? How are you going to punish me?" RackhamRose: "It was just one night! I swear, he meant nothing, and I didn't even know about the
penguin until afterwards!" Knives blurted, suddenly pale and sweating. Renfield: X3
"No I didn't," retorted Knives. "I saved all of my momentum for the end." "Smart ass." Meryl giggled and leaped into Knives' outstretched arms.
Renfield: see, Vash? if you'd been more of a dick, you'd still have Meryl. RackhamRose: --and he promptly sidestepped her, then pointed and laughed as she did a faceplant into the floor. Renfield: (All eight of them!) :D RackhamRose: *laughs* (oh, bravo) XD
He held Meryl tight as he fumbled in his pocket for his keys, successfully finding them. He placed the key in the lock and unlocked the door, opening it and dashing inside, tossing Meryl on the bed. Knives retreated back to the door for the key, retrieved it, and dashed back towards Meryl, jumping onto the bed.
Renfield: He verbed the noun as he verbed another noun, adjectively verbing yet one more noun. Renfield: for the tedious repetition of the above sentence structure, and for the abuse of the
present progressive tense, i sentence tongarisangel to food poisoning by shellfish. RackhamRose: see Knives verb. verb, Knives, verb. RackhamRose: (--Knives was then distracted by the sheer fun of jumping on a bouncy mattress.
wheeeeeee!)
"I'm going to go and get a shower," said Knives. "Why don't you call Vash and tell him the news?"
Renfield: "He'll be thrilled to hear we'll both be married to the same woman!" RackhamRose: "Um. Because it might kill the mood, you dick?" Renfield: "Why don't you call him?" Meryl demanded. "Aren't you his brother? Have you
misplaced your testicles?" Renfield: ("Ohh, we're not married yet," Knives retorted.) Renfield: "Because I have to bounce on the bed, you see. I have to!!" RackhamRose: I sorta want Meryl to call up Vash for phone sex, now. because although it would be
wildly out of character, it would also be tremendously entertaining in this context Renfield: YES
Meryl nodded as Knives kissed her on her forehead and retreated to the bathroom. Meryl got up off of the bed and walked across the room to the round table where the phone rested. She sat herself down in one of the chairs and stared at the phone, hesitant to pick it up and dial Vash's number. Suddenly
RackhamRose: --suddenly, she realised that Knives' testicles were in her pocket, and a world of exciting possibilities opened up for her. Renfield: Suddenly, an immense, anthropomorphic ewer of punch blew a hole in the wall and immediately leapt through it, booming "OHH YEAH!!" Renfield: Suddenly sand pirates attacked, and kidnapped Meryl before she could elope with Knives. She lived happily ever after as their queen-mistress. RackhamRose: Suddenly, she noticed that one of the walls read, "There was a hole here. It's gone now." Renfield: *applauds*
her mind became boggled with many different feelings and thoughts at the same time, causing her great pain and a rather large headache. Fear. How will he react? He's going to be so angry and he'll feel betrayed. What if this breaks the newly formed bond between Vash and Knives?
Renfield: wtf? newly!? Renfield: they're twins, frosty-twat! TWINS RackhamRose: ...I have this weird mental image of the announcer from the old cheezy Batman series reading those last few sentences. RackhamRose: "How will he react? Will Vash get out of this one alive? And what are the Penguin's
plans for the Gotham Left-Handed Fadabbit Factory?! Tune in next time..." Renfield: well, no matter; they can always form new bonds. or use some of their old ones! Renfield: according to Vash's costume, he greatly enjoys a good set of leather bonds
Depression. Vash was there when I needed him, so why am I marrying Knives? Vash surely isn't here now when I need him. The day he sent Knives with me and decided to stay with Wolfwood caused me great pain and sorrow.
Renfield: Well, if he can cheat with another man, so can I! she decided tearfully. RackhamRose: I was so upset, I started quoting Evanescence and wearing too much eye makeup. Renfield: This serves him right for not sending me to stay with Wolfwood!
If this a true reason for breaking my ties with Vash and marrying Knives?
Renfield: If wishes were horses? Renfield: If frogs had wings? RackhamRose: If nothing sticks to Teflon...? RackhamRose: If I had a nickel for every cliche in this fic...? Renfield: If the "F" in "if" were supposed to have been an "S". . . . RackhamRose: If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, and blaming it on you...
Love. I loved Vash and he loved me. But now Knives says he loves me and I love him as well. Is it just lust or is it real love? Why does this always happen to me?
Renfield: it's because you're such a wild and crazy chick, Meryl. you need to lay off the raves and
late-night clubbing for a while. RackhamRose: ...because you think with your penis? Renfield: XD that must be it
Meryl held her head in her hands and cried until her subconscious thoughts caused her to come back to reality and face her task at hand.
Renfield: . . . the task at hand being the manipulation of Knives Millions into making the phone call
to his brother. RackhamRose: "Step One," she murmured shakily to herself. "Cut a hole in a box..." Renfield: *laughs*
You can do it Meryl Stryfe...No I can't...I don't want to hurt him...You love Knives and he has taken care of you unlike Vash...I hope I'm doing the right thing...
Renfield: you aren't, but nobody really cares. RackhamRose: ...and I hope the wiretap I set up hasn't expired yet; I want this on tape... Renfield: Anyway--I've always wanted a polyandry! she remembered.
Meryl finally conquered her fears and picked up the receiver, dialing Vash's number. She closed her eyes and swallowed the lump in her throat, waiting until the eternal ringing was answered on the other end. "Hello?" answered a deep familiar sounding voice.
RackhamRose: "B... Barry White?!" Renfield: "Oh my god," Meryl gasped. "Are you Vincent Price!?" RackhamRose: *laughs* oh, that wins Renfield: thankyew! ^__^
"Vash?" replied Meryl. "Yes?" "Hey, it's Meryl. We need to talk."
RackhamRose: "...I swear I didn't know about the penguin until afterwards!" Renfield: "All righty! Wanna talk to this crazy chick who's moved in with me?" Renfield: ". . . Is this about the tattoo?" Renfield: "Look, she followed me home, all right? And you don't even live here anymore!" RackhamRose: ("Vash, are you pondering what I'm pondering?") Renfield: "Can we talk in the next chapter? I think we ran out of words here, or something." RackhamRose: Vash replied, "OK WUT IZ UR WISHES?" Renfield: heh, i like that one Renfield: but, yes--chapter over RackhamRose: ahhhh... I needed that Renfield: ^____^ happy to oblige