Rules of Fanfic Writing

1. This is non-professional writing. This is not for school, and you aren't getting paid for it. Therefore, it is perfectly permissible for you to ignore all rules of spelling and grammar. Nobody worries about those things, anyway, and the fifteen seconds it would take you to run spell-check are better spent writing.
   
2. Don't worry about preserving canon continuity. Change any aspect of the show as much as you want, however you want, and don't bother to explain your reasoning behind the change. "I wanted it that way" is a perfectly valid excuse. After all, this is an exercise in imagination, and you wouldn't want to stifle yourself by trying to make sense.
   
3. In that same vein, don't worry about making your story align with reality. If you say a broken leg can be healed with a band-aid and that the people of Japan all speak English and transact their business in American dollars, then it is so. No one has the right to ask you to correct such silly technicalities.
   
4. The fanbase of the show you are writing for is deadly bored of the characters on said show. They will react to any new characters you create with overwhelming enthusiasm. The more perfect your original characters are, the better they will like them. The ideal original character will be staggeringly beautiful/handsome, speak seven languages fluently, be a mathematical wizard and a sports all-star, have a gorgeous singing voice and play multiple instruments, have psychic powers, and will be irresistable to the opposite sex. It would be unnatural for the pre-existing characters not to love your character at first sight. Actually, it would be better if they weren't in the story at all.
   
5. Character bashing is a form of art. It allows you to creatively express your dislike for a character, who, let's face it, really does deserve to be shot with a machine gun and then run over by a two-ton semi. Twice.
   
6. Any form of criticism is bad. Criticism is also called flaming, and if anyone offers you such heinous advice such as, "I thought this was a pretty good story overall, but you made a couple of spelling mistakes on page three and got one character's last name wrong," you should show them no mercy. Report them to the abuse patrol at once and have them booted out of the archive. Everything you write is, in fact, perfect, and nobody ought to try to tell you otherwise.
   
7. Conversely, if anyone writes anything you disapprove of (say, pairing up a couple that you don't like), you have a God-given right to tell them what you think of them. In the most explicit terms possible. A review like "THIS IS THE *&$#@(EST PIECE OF *&@$!ING &*@($ IVE EVER READ, U R SO GAY, &*@% U!!!!!!!111" is the standard response to such works. Don't leave your name and use a fake e-mail address (urgayandstupid@blanketyblank.com is a good example). Anybody who doesn't share your opinions doesn't deserve to be able to get in contact with you. Upon seeing your review, they will most likely break down in tears, give up whatever habits irked you, and probably give up writing altogether to become an accountant in New Jersey.
   
8. Nobody ought to criticise fics you like, either. If you see anyone criticising a fic you like, immediately leave a review saying, "Don't listen to So-and-so's review!" Then e-mail So-and-so to tell them what you think of them going around flaming other people's fics. Then flame So-and-so's fics. Nobody has a right to an opinion but you.
   
9. Speaking of couples you like, remember, no matter who the characters are, no matter what their personalities are like, the truth is, they belong together, and there is no action that is not justified if you're using it to get them together. If turning the guy's loving father into an abusive drunk and the spunky girl into a fainting princess is what it takes to get them together, then that's how it should have happened on the show in the first place.
10. The characters from the show are not required to grow up. There is no reason why a character should not talk, dress, and act exactly the same way at fifty that they do at eleven.
11. Additionally, first impressions are the most important. If a character is aloof and cold in the beginning of the show, that is how they will be after the show is over, even if they outgrow those characteristics during the course of the show. People never really change, anyway.
12. On the other hand, if you don't like the way a character acts, feel free to change their personality as much as you want, especially if it facilitates getting them together with their One True Love. Or if it's funny. Or whatever.
13. "They grew up and changed," is a good excuse for any type of character adjustment. Any such adjustments require no further explanation. We don't need to know why the normal, happy kid we saw on TV grew up to be a mass murderer. It encourages the audience to use their imaginations.
14. If a character goes on vacation, moves, goes to college, or otherwise leaves the general geographic location the rest of the characters live in, they will instantly lose all contact with their friends. Wherever they're going, all the telephones, the Internet, the post office, and all available carrier pigeons will cease to function as soon as they get there.
15. A normal, healthy, well-adjusted, happy individual will instantly become suicidal if their crush snubs them. Everyone knows the leading cause of death among teenagers is romance-induced suicide.
16. Furthermore, a character hearing his or her friends trash-talking him/her is a valid excuse for leaving the country, going over to the Dark Side, or becoming a Republican. No one would ever imagine a person so distraught would actually try to talk to their friends about a problem like that.
17. Alternately, no matter how troubled, abused, disturbed, or otherwise angst-ridden a character is, all their troubles can be solved by a kiss from their One True Love.
18. The best time to begin a romance is after one of the characters in question has just been raped, abused, cheated on, or otherwise mistreated. People are always at their most trusting and receptive to romantic commitments after being emotionally violated.
19. All villains, no matter how evil they are presented to be, are suckers for a pretty face or a beautiful singing voice. Should they encounter the posessor of one of these things, they will instantly fall in love with this person and forsake the ways of darkness to settle down and start raising their 2.4 kids and a dog. The best way to get anyone to read your fic is to label it, "R&R, please!" and nothing else. It lets people know what your priorities really are, so they won't waste their time reviewing those people who only care about writing good stories.
20. Alternately, write as your summary, "I will not update until I get ten reviews!" People won't review you if you don't remind them several times.
21. The best title for your fic is probably, "untitled", "no title yet", or "i'm really bad at thinking of titles so help me please!" The uncertainty will give your fic an air of mystery and make people even more eager to read it.
22. Likewise, the best summary for your fic is, "I really suck at summaries so just read it okay?" It arouses people's sympathy.
23. The second best summary for your fic is something like, "Takari," "Kenyako" "Taiora with some Jyoumi," etc. That's all anyone really needs to know about your story, anyway.
24. It doesn't matter if the plot of your story has already been used sixteen dozen times. That just makes it better. People enjoy the sense of familiarity.
25. Conversations between you and your muse(s) at the beginning and end of each chapter are an absolute necessity. The humor puts readers in a receptive mood and makes them enjoy the story more, as well as offering them a precious glimpse into your psyche, allowing them to better interpert the nuances of your fine work of prose.
26. The best place for author's notes is in the middle of the story. If you put them at the beginning of the fic, readers will likely forget it all before they finish the first page. This is particularly important for notes like, "(A/N: Isn't Kouji just the cuuuutest thing? I just love him to pieces!)" which must be inserted at key points in the fic to retain their relevance. How else is anyone going to know how you feel on the subject?
27. Any and all mistakes in spelling, grammar, capitalization, punctuation, characterization, chronology, the laws of nature, common sense, or the value of pi can be chalked up to chocolate, caffiene, sugar, or monosodium glutamate. As long as you lay the blame for your troubles on a chemical substance, everyone will understand and forgive you of all wrongs.
28. The best length for a fanfic is one page or less per chapter. Cutting the story into microscopic, one-paragraph-long chunks draws out the suspense and hightens interest.
29. You do not need to see the entirity of the series or read all the books or play all the games before you write a fic. Writing a fic telling what happens to the characters twenty years from now based on the three episodes you saw is perfectly acceptible. Nothing possibly could have happened in the next sixty-two episodes that was worth seeing.
30. Feel free to post as many contests, MSTs, lists, NC-17 fics, and reader-participation stunts as you like. Artists are meant to break rules, and the establishment never actually meant for you to follow any of them. Anyone who criticises or reports you for breaking said rules is either a stupid goody-two-shoes or a brain-dead peon just trying to make trouble. Crossovers are always cool. If your story is a crossover, that automatically makes it new and interesting, and therefore, you need not worry yourself about making the plot original or making it make sense. Crossovers do not need to be explained. If you want Daisuke to be the son of Heero Yui and girl-type Ranma, just saying it is so is explanation enough.
31. The children of the current characters will all look and act just like their parents... only younger. They will in all probability dress the same and have the same powers as their parents. All pre-teen children think their parents are cool and want to be just like them.
32. Fanfics require romance. Always. Especially if it's a series. If you don't see a romance in the fic, it is either because you didn't look hard enough or the author made a mistake.
33. Because of this, "Can you make it a Rukato?" is an extremely helpful review. Always request your favorite couples when you are making a review. The author could never make such monumental decisions as what couples to write about without your valuable input.
34. Actually, any review along the lines of, "Can you make such-and-such happen?" is valuable. Nobody ever plots anything out in advance.
35. When leaving reviews, don't bother to leave your e-mail address, especially if you asked a question or made a suggestion. The author will enjoy the diversion of trying to track you down and respond to you - it gives their brain some much-needed exercise.
36. When writing a songfic, always make sure that the amount of song lyrics you have outweighs the amount of actual writing you did. What's the point of a songfic if you actually have to write something?
37. Any time a character is dating/crushing on/being crushed on by two different people, one will always be perfect and pure and the other will always be evil, stupid, jealous, or otherwise just plain bad. Otherwise, how would anyone know who to pick?
38. A summary like, "Character A is miserable, can Character B save her?" is a dramatic summary. Nobody will ever be able to guess the answer. Not even if you add "Character A/Character B romance" at the end. They will naturally assume that is just a red herring and marvel at your cleverness when it proves to be otherwise.
39. About jobs: girls will always become dressmakers, cooks, models, teachers, or some other appropriately feminine job, no matter what their childhood interests were. Characters you like will get cool jobs like rock stars or astronauts. Characters you did not like will become snake oil salesmen or agents of the IRS.
40. "They kept it a secret," is a valid excuse for introducing any situation to the show, no matter how unlikely it is that such a thing could be kept a secret. Anyone capable of saving the world is capable of convincing the world that he is happy and healthy even though his father has been raping him and forcing him to watch Barney reruns for the past sixteen years.
41. There are three types of interpersonal relationships. They are (A) Not acknowledging a person exists, (B) Loving a person madly, or (C) Hating a person furiously. Nobody is ever just friends with anyone else.
42. There are no Digimon in a Digimon fanfic. They just named the show that because it sounded good.
43. No matter how long the fic/series is, no matter how conclusive or apocalyptic the ending is, there is still no reason why you shouldn't ask for a sequel. The author has lots of ideas left for that story; they're just waiting to see if anyone will ask.
44. There are two acceptable ways of handling paragraph breaks. One is to ignore them entirely - it makes the story flow better if you don't break it up. Alternately, you should put at least five inches or more of white space between each paragraph, giving your readers more time to digest the material and absorb the subtle nuances of the story.
45. If someone writes a fic you like, feel free to borrow from it as much as you like, even up to reposting the story with your name on it. After all, it is vitally important that you get good reviews one way or another. There is no reason why you ought to ask the author's permission to borrow from them; they really didn't care about what they wrote and probably didn't have to work very hard on it, and asking them is simply a waste of their valuable time.

And the number one rule of fanfiction is...

"IT'S JUST FANFICTION!" IS AN ACCEPTABLE EXCUSE FOR ANYTHING!